I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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