Sry I called you an 8
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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