its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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