he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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