Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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