Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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