How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
