Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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