I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
