this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
