i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize