Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
