You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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