Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
