I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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