adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
