if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We need to rekindle our bromance
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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