I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
