we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
