I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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