Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
