Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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