That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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