Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
