Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
