new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize