there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I understand Curling. That high.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize