i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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