I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
