and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
