If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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