Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
