Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
