it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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