My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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