Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
