Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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