To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
