It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
