Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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