And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
