It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
