I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
