That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
