I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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