I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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