I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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