I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
