with your own penis?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
