...so i touched it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
