I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize