you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pants are for mortals
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
