Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
