So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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