There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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