What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
