My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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