After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
