I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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